Perplexed.

Just a funky chicken...

Whenever I just don't feel like cooking I pop a chicken in the oven, make a salad, and some sort of instant rice.  The house smells great and my hubby thinks I am a rock star.  My favorite part?  The fact that it is beer butt chicken and someone has to drink half of it before before I can add the rest of the ingredients.  Tee Heee Heeee.  Hey, whatever floats my boat.

So, I have been busy doing a buncha nothing.  Pondering life as I know it and thinking about change.  Just really thinking hard about change.  No not, trans-gender sex change kind of change but just change in general.  So, I will keep you updated.  I suppose tonight I will make a meatloaf and have Drew squeal with delight as it is his all time favorite.  Cheers.

My List of....

what I need to do before I die.  I know it sounds a little morbid, but not really.  I am in a funk today and I just keeping thinking about all of the crap that I should really get done.  I know I am also VERY hormonal and I think if I really want to my head can actually turn 360 and I will spew vomit at whomever I want.  And, having said that there comes the other great side to being hormonal, the emotional side that says Hey, get your shit together, people in this world are dying and do not have clean water to drink. My eye keeps twitching, I am hot, and I am in a funk.  So, back to the list.

1.  Fund our trust.  Yes, maybe this will discourage the hubby from switching bank accounts around if he is hassled with trustee paperwork.  It has only been six years since we spent a good chunk of money on this little legal document.  So, that ranks up there with get this damn thing done.

2.  Organize all of my paperwork IE: Real Estate documentation and my favorite little homeowners association that I have been pulling my hair out over for the past year and a half.

3.  Write letters to my loved ones.  Just the other day I read a letter I will always cherish from my grandmother before she died.  I still grieve for her but I do have the comfort of knowing that when I die she will be the one who will meet me in heaven. 

4.  Figure out why my perfect child has suddenly taken up the art of telling lies and how I can deter this type of behavior.  What in the hell just happened?!  Is this what it is going to be like when he is thirteen?  Why is he telling lies now when he has always been so truthful?  I remember beating around the bush as a child but outright whoppers?   I even used the "you just wait until your father gets home" routine and he looked at me like this was probably the better option to begin with.

5.  Try really hard to not let the crazies affect my life.  It is so hard for me to deal with certain people and when family members are emotional enablers it just makes the crazies even much more difficult to accept.

6.  Be loving and gracious and remember just how blessed I am and that I am only a bunch of molecular DNA trying to make a difference.

Wow.  To be honest I thought my list would be much longer.  I did not include all of my daily ditties as that would just bore you and me both.  So, I will switch over the laundry and declare today as a leftover dinner night and take a deep breath.  I will also not let my hypochondria get the best of me as it is at a peak when I am in a funk.  But, my eye is still twitching.  And hence I leave you with title blog postings with "My list of things to do before I Die"  I know, charming.

Cheers.   

Damn a Bear!

Well, we started off with this.  Our pool has  two spill-offs to create both an appealing image and sound.  I happen to be quite fond of the spill-offs, but when you get a bored five year old boy who's life is doomed because he is an only child and he has no one to play with, they come up some pretty inventive ideas for self entertainment.  Hence, my spill off.

So, the boy child decided to build a dam.  I was actually quite impressed with way he constructed his dam as he really did not have a lot to work with.  He used everything he could find on our porch and and then some of my gardening tools.  I was quite amused by his early evening adventure and I told him so.  I told him that he had built a great dam, but he was still not satisfied as he had used EVERYTHING.  At that moment, still unhappy with a very small trickle of water escaping his efforts I could see the wheels start turning in his head. 

And it was at this moment he took off his bathing suit (Buzz Lightyear Undies) and blocked that trickle of water.  Now HE was satisfied with the efforts of his dam. 

And as I looked at his bare little bottom, and tried to keep my composure, I realized that he may just be able to survive in the woods for a few day's by himself.  Resourceful little stinker that he is.  Now to get my water sprayer back.  Cheers. 

Why one should never buy....

PLAID board shorts, that's right good friends and buddies I share with you in all my plaid glory, a shot of my ass the size of Texas.  I thought my Roxy surf shorts (with matching rash guard underneath two layers of neoprene vest and long sleeve rash guard, Hello I am from Florida!  that damn Pacific ocean is chilly!) moving on,  I thought my Roxy surf shorts were too stinkin' cute and they fit and therefore I pulled that Mastercard from my Vera Bradley quicker than a bolt of lightening striking a golfer mid-swing and purchased them.  I thought I was glorious in my cuter than cute shorts and rash guard that is until I came home from Hawaii and finally downloaded the $30.00 CD of pictures from my surf lesson (HELLLLLLLO, I AM A SCRAPBOOKER!  WHO ELSE WAS GONNA TAKE THE PICTURE!) and to my disappointment, I did not see all of those gnarly daring waves I so awesomely rode in (MY FIRST TIME SURFING).  NO, I get to this picture.  Just the palest Floridian legs and a very scary large plaid badunk dunk staring at me.  And this, this my friends, was my, is my legacy as a surfer.  Better thought out plans next time.  But hey, I had one helluva a great time and I could feel the big kahuna calling my name to the surf gods somewhere.

Seriously, good times.  I would now like to share with you a few pictures of my trip.  The next few are of me at Diamond Head.  My sister is not the hiking type so she declared early on that any plans of adventure would be done on my own.  So I cabbed it (about 4.5 mile to the park, I did know really know how to get there left to my own devices) and I hiked to the top, then all the way back to the hotel.  This little almost three hour jaunt allowed me at least two pina coladas in calories, or at least this is how I rationalized their consumpsion.  It was beautiful and I am glad I went to at least get some great pictures with my point and shoot.  Lovin' the new camera!

Just a few steps up and then another few steps, and hell I panting like dog!

Don't you hate it when they cut off your feet!  My shoes were the best part of the outfit!  GRRRRRR!

One of our favorite things to do together is play Scrabble. I bought a travel edition kind of as a gag but we probably played 9 games of Scrabble.  We bring it everywhere, by the pool, out to lunch, Duke's, and pretty much play whenever.  This did curtail my reading time but I still finished 1 book and a half of another.  I know big dork,  plaid shorts.

Only in Hawaii will you find bathroom signs with leis and flowers behind their stick body ears.  It makes me smile.  Those funny Hawaiians.

Yes, this would be leg #1 of the two that I own (did not want to bore you with a dupe shot of leg #2) that have now been scarred with chaffing.  Such a nice word.  My legs were CHAFFED from surfing.  No wonder all those boy surfers wear things called "board shorts" makes much more sense now.  It hurt like a banshee when I went for a massage later that day when the therapist put some kind of a lotion on them and I swear to God I was on fire.  Literally had tears in my eyes.  Repeat reaction to sunscreen as well.  Thank goodness we were leaving in one day.  Mama could not handle any more sunscreen.

And I now leave you with this sunset.  Enjoy.   Mahalo!

ALOHA!

Greets my bloggin' buddies, I have returned in one piece from the great state of Hawaii!  A wonderful completely relaxing vacation.  Several 151 pina colada's were consumed via poolside over looking the ocean playing nasty competitive games of Scrabble with my sister.  It was bliss.  So many exciting pictures to share and I will, but first I must finish the laundry and at least attempt to vacuum my floors.  It will be then that I can relax and screw around with my camera!  So, I leave you with this little nugget of information.  Have any of you watched the Tudors?  You know on Showtime?  (No, not tooters!)  The one with Jonathan Rhys Myers?  If you have not, ladies, I am hear to tell you it is the best one hour of eye candy that I can handle!  I downloaded it to my ipod so I had something to watch crossing the states and I have to tell you, thank God I went with the Classic ipod over the Touch ipod because I could barely hide the 2 1/2 inch screen of lust and passion that made my breath hitch and cheeks flush.  I actually felt like I was 13 and reading dirty Judy Bloom books.   So now because I am addicted to steamy, raunchy, hot men in collars and tights I am now secretly trying to watch the additional episodes every chance I get!  Maybe I will buy a corset and see what it does for my Jon!  Giggle.  Giggle.   Giggle.  So, more later so I can post pics.  Cheers!

Been so long.....

I almost forgot my password.  That's right, I almost forgot my password.  So, what does that mean to you?  I am a deadbeat blogger.  I was just threatened by Kim B. that if I did not post I would be removed from her sidebar.  So, I blog.  Not quite sure why I have not been active around these parts lately, just in a funk I believe.  Still trying to lose weight and exercise, had a birthday, counting the hours to Hawaii, and in general trying to make sure that the Easter bunny is still on course and that we never lose sight of all of our many blessings.  I am tired and for no good reason.  I have lots of news to share and some great pictures as well but that will be on the next post.  I need to have a tear in my retina lasered but again not that big of a deal.  Ohhh, I also participated in K2's monthly challenge (it sucked!) and again I did not take a picture of it but Oh well!  So, I bring this update to you via poolside whist Drew takes a bath in the hot tub.  Sounds good to me.  So, more later alligator.  And, I will be better, or I will quit.  Smell y'all.

Cheers.

So, I have been tagged.

OK, OK, I know that I my blogging went from bad to worse so I will be good and take another stab at this.  So, my good friend Kim has tagged me and now I have to reveal 7 things about myself that are interesting or weird.  That should come pretty easy.  At least the weird part! Ha Ha Ha!  So anyhoo...

1.  I was the 1991 National Horticulture Champion for 4H.  Beat that Miss. FFA Charlene!

2.  I also met my husband on a blind date.  We met, were engaged 6 months later and tied the knot 10 months after that.

3.  I am legally blind at  -10.5  that's right, even the super thin poly lenses in the smallest frames known to man still look like coke bottles on me. 

4.  I was the drum major in high school.  Add that to the 4H and I was socially doomed.  Forever.

5.  I love to run in the rain (without thunder and lightening preferably) it is one of my favorite times to just be thankful to God for so many things.

6.  I love a good hole in the wall bar, and I also LOVE beer.  And, wine, and sangria, and margaritas, and I think I really need to stop!

7.  I took all three Wilton cake decorating classes at Micheal's.  I really like to work with fondant.  And I love to bake.  Though my instructor did mention I was a little heavy handed on the food coloring.  I have also vowed to make all Of Drew's Birthday cakes until 18.  Poor Kid.  All he wants is the one from Publix but I vow to hold onto to this one domestic vice.  Again, poor kid.

Anyway, this was fun.  Now I feel I can get back to blogging.  Thanks Kim.

Cheers.

How does one lose...

A fricken tax refund check?  You know the nice juicy check that has already been earmarked for things like repainting of the boat bottom? Hurricane Impact glass windows?  Nothing fun or fancy, just earmarked for all things boring, adult, and mind numbingly normal.  I have been sitting on hold with the IRS for now more than 25 minutes listening to horrid renditions of say the Nutcracker Suite?  Sweet Jesus it is almost March!  Oh wait, it just changed to a little Vivaldi.  I just love the telephone crackle of interrupted blasting orchestra movements.  Please challenge my sensibilities just a tad!  Oh, she just came back.  I now have a fax number to the IRS and new time period of six weeks to wait for a refund check from 2006!  Woooo Hoooo!  Way to stay on top of things!  Actually he is doing pretty good being this caught up.  I think our accountant charges him a special handling fee.  For being a pain in the arse.  You know kind of like Baxter gets charged a special handling fee when he gets groomed because he tries to bite the shit out of everybody?  Yeah, along the lines of the same thing.  OK, back to Jillian kick my butt Michaels workout.  My arms still can't extend to normal lengths due to muscle atrophy from ripping of biceps.  That's right, RIPPING the muscle only to temporarily heal so I can RIP them again.  OK, more later.  Cheers.

Five years ago...

February 2003, Valentines week, on vacation in Arizona, this image was waiting for me in my email.  This picture was attatched to a long awaited referral.  This picture is a picture of a baby that would forever change my life in just a moments notice.  This picture is a baby boy who was supposed to be a baby girl and was the biggest surprise of my life.  The baby in this picture is my son.  At six months this was one of two pictures that I would stare at several times daily until I got to see him for the first time four months later.  I can't believe my baby, this boy, has been a part of my life now for 5 years.  It is by far one of the best gifts God could have ever given me.  His intense little eyebrows still make me giggle and I still think he looks the same.  Just a bigger version.  So I guess when he is old and bald he will look much like this only wrinklier. 

It has been of crazy month.  If all goes well I will have two closings this month.  I am beyond thrilled, but I need a little break.  I also scrapped for the K2 challenge and forgot to take a picture of it.  Nice.  So far this year I have completed 6, count em' 6 layouts!   Woooooo Hooooooo!  Ask me how much money I have spent in supplies!  A lot more than six lay outs worth!  Need to get in gear.  But, the diet has been much more positive this week, and I actually worked out.  Not a marathon by any stretch of the imagination but skin tight spandex and a horrid sweat band made me feel inspired.  That's right motivated.  That and the fact that my wonderful, incredible, who is in the house yo yo yo my sista Cindy called and announced she was taking my fat ass to Hawaii!  That's right! HAWAII!  I am pretty jazzed up about this bit of good news and I am so excited that she asked me to go with her.  There are definitely some perks to having a overzealous, multi-talented, focused, driven, successful, and beautiful little sister who is able to forgive big sisters who tormented them growing up.  Well, actually we tormented each other.  She was my mothers favorite and well, I guess that segment would be appropriate for another Oprah moment, or better yet,  Dr.Phil.  I am excited to spend time with my sister RELAXING, by the pool with a cabana boy fetching me beverages whilst I sit basking in the sun with a wide brimmed hat...It will be fun and I am psyched, and motivated.  So here is to Five Years and Blessings!

Cheers.

DO OVER!

Have you ever yelled "Do Over!"  Well, I am frickin' yelling "DO OVER!".  I was doing well, eating not the best but, definitely working out and Whamo!  I get a couple of clients and all my plans turn to crap so I decide to blow the week of effort and pig out like a glutton.  Nice.  Yeah, I know.  Real nice.  So, I am going back to basics and I am gonna try harder this time.  I am positive and I am strong.  And, I just had to buy a pair of new shorts because my stomach makes me look pregant (and I don't think I missed out on much not carrying my son in my belly if the first stages looked like this!) and my old ones do not even fit.  I am disgusted with myself.  And yes, I realize that is a strong word but I am.

So to answer you question, why do I blog, I really don't know.  I have actually thought about already packing it in as it is just another thing on my to do list.  I am cautious on my blog because there is a part of me that is like Crap!  I know these people commenting!  Maybe they will think I am weird and insecure and at times too brazen.  Maybe they think totally different from me and will hold it against me.  I think I started this blog as an outlet.  AN outlet to write my stuff down and get it out of my brain.  A place to say yippee, look how my cute kid is, and I am vacationing here this time of year.  I really should start a diary but, my hand will get a cramp and at least I can password encrypt my blog if I please.  Maybe I blog so I can be held accountable?  Maybe I blog for the free psychological insight?  Who knows!  Maybe I just thought I would give it a try. 

To add onto my self depreciating bandwagon, I will also admit that I forgot a major birthday this year.  I truly am pretty upset about it and I do not have an excuse that will make up for it.  Hell, I don't even have a good enough gift to make up for it.  I made the belated phone call and the only good thing about it was that my dad does forgive.  It was his 60th birthday and I had even with it written in my daytimer, I still forgot to call.  Even my less responsible brother called to say Happy Birthday.  My girlfriend Julie, mentioned her birthday last night and even though it is written down I was still like Thank God she just said something.  I am the crappiest rememberer of important events.  Is that even a word?  Rememberer?  Anyway, I will try to be a little bit more positive, not so much Debbie Downer, but Charlene, NO you cannot have my old shorts.  I will, I VOW to fit into them.  And soon.  How in hell do people get anorexic?  Not to be ugly about a real disease but damn, I must have missed the will power gene somewhere.  Oh well.  More later.  I just had to look up a recipe for boiled eggs.  No laughing.